Monday, October 6, 2008

Brooke Does NOT Know Best

Note to Brooke Hogan:
While I am waiting for my job offer from Vogue to come in, I have found myself finding interesting ways to fill my time. I actually watched an episode of your show the other day, and somehow despite the mind-numbing dullness of the show I found something to entertain me-- your wardrobe. I don't want to be mean, but are you serious? Your dad is Hulk Hogan, and he is famous for tearing off his shirt, but you do not need to do the same with your clothing. In fact, maybe you can just keep putting more clothing on, and that does not mean more fishnets or ripped items. You are a pretty girl, but your trash-tastic wardrobe is trying way too hard. Email me and I will take you shopping. Help me help you, Brooke.

Note to Readers:
You are all beautiful and do not need bleached hair extensions, gallons of self-tanner, and an entire make up counter to look that way. Also, go for demure and subtle not exposed and slutty. For example, say you have a flat tummy. A great way to highlight that is by wearing a top with a fitted silhouette, or a dress with a fitted bodice. You should not cut the midriff section off of your shirt and then cover your stomach with glitter.


ben said...

I can't get over those pants. Do her undies just need more air?

*emily* said...

Hi Lisa-- I was wondering if you want to be my stylist! Well, to be honest I can't afford you but I would love your input as I have been selected to be Ms. Utah Globe 2009! I get to represent Utah until next September when I will go to Palm Springs to compete for the national title. Take me shopping sometime, or ransack my closet, pretty please?