Brooke Does NOT Know Best

Note to Brooke Hogan:
While I am waiting for my job offer from Vogue to come in, I have found myself finding interesting ways to fill my time. I actually watched an episode of your show the other day, and somehow despite the mind-numbing dullness of the show I found something to entertain me-- your wardrobe. I don't want to be mean, but are you serious? Your dad is Hulk Hogan, and he is famous for tearing off his shirt, but you do not need to do the same with your clothing. In fact, maybe you can just keep putting more clothing on, and that does not mean more fishnets or ripped items. You are a pretty girl, but your trash-tastic wardrobe is trying way too hard. Email me and I will take you shopping. Help me help you, Brooke.

Note to Readers:
You are all beautiful and do not need bleached hair extensions, gallons of self-tanner, and an entire make up counter to look that way. Also, go for demure and subtle not exposed and slutty. For example, say you have a flat tummy. A great way to highlight that is by wearing a top with a fitted silhouette, or a dress with a fitted bodice. You should not cut the midriff section off of your shirt and then cover your stomach with glitter.

And the Winner Is...

Note to Amy Winehouse:
It is my duty to inform you that you are the winner of the Fashion Noted poll for the celebrity most in need of a makeover. I feel kind of bad writing this, I know you have a lot going on and I kind of feel like I am kicking you while you are down. I think the most important thing you can do is get your life together and the fashion will follow. You used to be a fashion muse to heavy-hitters like Michael Kors, Karl Lagerfeld and the powers that be at Fendi. I know you can be again. First thing you need to do, go to rehab, seriously, all jokes about your song aside, just go. You may say "no, no, no" but the rest of us are pleading, "YES, YES, YES!!!" Next, stop wearing clothing that looks like it would fit a nine-year old. How many times do I have to say, just because you can fit into something, it doesn't mean it is your size. Third, go to a dentist and get your teeth fixed. Use the money you would have used on crack and get some nice veneers. I would suggest you go back to wearing your flirty retro-styled party dresses and pencil skirts. Also, I gave this advice before, but bras are not shirts. Stop showing so much skin, it is not attractive in the slightest. You are a talented woman, and you are seen by many, time to start acting like it.

Note to Readers:
I think the main thing we can learn from this is, stay away from drugs. Seriously. Cracked-out chic is an oxy-moron. Being healthy is always in style.

We want to see more of this Amy Winehouse...


And less of this one...


Also, by saying we want to see more, it does not mean more skin. Just thought I would clarify.

Emmy Recap

Note to Readers:
I was unable to watch the broadcast, but I have been looking at the photos from the red carpet from the Emmy's and overall I was a little bit bored. It seems like everyone decided to wear a strapless dress and have their hair in either loose curls or a loose updo. I am begging for a little risk taking, and some originality! I did like that a few people experimented with bright colors, especially a dandelion yellow hue worn by a few big names. All in all there were a few highlights, but lets hope the dresses get better as the awards season continues. Now onto my Red Carpet Awards:

Best Overall Look:

Note to Olivia Wilde:
This satin and chiffon Reem Acra dress is absolutely gorgeous. I like that you didn't wear a typical strapless dress, you opted for a different silhouette and the color is amazing with your complexion. You look like an ethereal goddess, who pretty much dominated the red carpet with your sophisticated look. I still think that when you have blonde hair you would make a perfect Rosalie in the Twilight movie, much better than Nikki Reed who was cast in the part.

Best Fashion Designer who is also a Reality TV star:

Note to Christian Siriano (of Project Runway fame):
This chiffon tiered creation is in a word--fierce. You used one of my favorite color combinations, yellow and gray and created this dress that looked phenomenal in your runway show and on Heidi at the Emmy's. You knocked Lauren Conrad's (yawn) strapless maternity-looking dresses out of the water!

Best Use of Color:



Note to Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Cynthia Nixon:
This was a tie. I couldn't decide if I like Julia's vibrant salmon hued Narciso Rodriguez dress or Cynthia Nixon's seafoam Calvin Klein gown better. I admire that they both wore interesting colors, that weren't canary yellow. Also, both of these women are over 40 and they looked much better than many of the younger starlets. I guess you get fashion wisdom with age!

Sly Fox Award:

Note to Tina Fey:
You usually are wearing your Palin-esque glasses (or maybe she wears Fey-esque glasses), and hiding your beauty behind your witty sense of humor. For the awards last night, there was nothing funny about your David Meister gown. You looked amazing. I always thought you were pretty, but who knew how much of a fox you could be! Also, congrats on the Emmy.

Just Because Award:

Note to John Krasinski:
I couldn't help it, I just wanted to put a picture of you on here. I have such a crush on you and seeing you in your Prada Mohair Tux on the red carpet just heightened my crush. You chose your look well. Unless you are a male and known for your fashion, you should pull a "Clooney" and wear a nicely tailored conservative tux or suit. Also, I like the look of a skinny black tie instead of a bowtie. If I were still in junior high, I would totally have a picture of you on the front of my binder.

Best Look on a Young Starlet:

Note to Rose Byrne:
You looked amazing in your quilted Calvin Klein creation. The color was striking with your dark hair, and the use of Fred Leighton diamonds was perfect. You are a great example of a pretty girl, in a great dress, paired with the right accessories, and a good hair and makeup team. I look forward to seeing more of your red carpet choices in the future.

Designer of the Night Award:

Note to Reem Acra:
Your gowns were seen on Olivia Wilde, Felicity Huffman and a regal looking Christina Applegate. The silhouettes, colors, and overall looks of the gowns were not predictable, and oozed a demure sophistication. All the women wearing your designs looked beautiful, feminine and confident in their gowns. Well done. Monique Lhuillier was right behind you in my opinion, so you better keep up the good designs or she may be the winner of the next red carpet. Also I just wrote an article about Monique Lhuillier for Eliza magazine, I'll let you all know when it is available, but in the meantime check out elizamagazine.com for some great fashion tips.

Well Readers, what did you think of the Emmy fashions?

It's Almost Time!

Note to Readers:
The Emmy's are this Sunday, September 21 on ABC. Usually I don't watch the actual awards show, it gets a little bit boring to me. I do watch the red carpet though, and then I can't wait to look online the next morning for photos of everyone's gowns. In order to get you excited for Sunday's event, I wanted to post a picture of one of my favorite looks from last year's Emmy Awards. Also, Project Runway winner Christian Siriano and reality TV star Lauren Conrad are designing gowns for the women who hand out the Emmy trophies. I can't wait to see what they come up with. I have not been impressed with LC's designs so far, they are lacking creativity and originality. Christian on the other hand, has is very talented, I don't know how he has so much creativity in that petite frame of his!



Note to Katherine Heigl:
Your look at the 2007 Emmy's was immaculate. This Zac Posen dress looked amazing on you. I love the silhouette of the gown, and the simple white color, is somehow anything but simple. You look glamorous, demure, and like a true Hollywood starlet. Supposedly you selected this entire look without the help of a stylist. You were by far the best dressed at the Emmy's last year. Oh, and you also won an Emmy, so it was not a bad night for you at all!

Note to Emmy Goers:
Please don't disappoint us with your gown selections. Please don't be predictable, and spend sometime selecting your look. See you Sunday. Also if you want some help, you know where to find me. My email address is on the side.

And the Winner Is...

Note to Readers:
You, my dear readers, voted Chanel as the designer purse you are dying to have. Nice work! I also voted for Chanel, and I am constantly trying to think of ways I can buy one. One of my best friends has a "Chanel Bag Fund" that she puts a little bit from each paycheck into. Sounds like a good savings plan to me! If I may offer my opinion on purchasing purses, I would suggest following these rules:

1. If you want a trendy purse (a la something with this season's new trend of leather fringe, or something in a highlighter color) purchase an expensive looking one, but from a less expensive brand. I don't see the need to spend hundreds of dollars on a bag that will be out of style in a few months.
2. If you are in the market for a designer purse (a la Chanel, Gucci, YSL, etc.) buy one in a classic color and shape, so you can continue to use it for years and years to come. I myself was lucky enough to buy a Chanel bag a few years ago, and I bought a classic black quilted one with the iconic gold chain strap. It always is in style and it still looks brand new, despite a lot of wear and tear. I look forward to giving this purse to my daughter someday, and don't worry I will make sure she realizes the significance of such a gift!
3. If you need money for a new purse, consider selling some of your old, out of style ones on eBay. Your old bag can be exactly what someone else is looking for. That way you don't have to feel as guilty about spending money on a purse, because you just made money off of a purse. It's kind of like a trade, or an upgrade.

In honor of Coco Chanel (who's Lifetime movie I have on my DVR, but haven't watched yet), I am going to post a few photos of Chanel purses. Maybe to inspire you to start your own "Chanel Bag Fund". If you are like me, and can't buy one right now, they are still nice to look at!


This beauty is new to the Chanel accessories line. I like the variation on the basic black, and I think the oversize link chain is very chic.


I like this classic shape in the gunmetal leather. It is a nice, but still subtle change.


I am OBSESSED with this bag. Yes, it is very large, and my boyfriend would tease me that my purse was more like luggage, but I still adore it! This would be a great oversize bag to use as a carry on when traveling, or it would make a great "briefcase" for a working woman. I just love it.

Note to Chanel:
Feel free to send any of the photographed purses to me as a thank you for all of this publicity I am giving you. Congratulations on your big win in our Fashion Noted Poll! Thank you Karl Lagerfeld and his design team for creating these classic bags. You truly deserve this accolade, along with all of the others you have raked in over the years.

Well, I am now going to sell some things on eBay, to try to find a way to buy one of these purses.

Clarification

Note to Solange Knowles:

In a previous post I mentioned patterned tights are going to be a big trend this fall and winter, but I should have been more specific. Just because a pair of tights has a pattern does not mean they are worth wearing. These tights are an ugly pattern and the color would not look good on anyone over the age of six. On a positive note, your top and skirt are very chic and if you wore them bare-legged with a pair of fabulous stilettos your look would have been smashing!

Note to Readers:
I hope this post does not scare you off of wearing patterned tights. My advice for wearing them would be to pick a pattern that you would wear a shirt or skirt in. If the pattern would be ugly on another garment, it will be ugly on a pair of tights. Also, when wearing patterned tights, keep the rest of your look simple and free of prints. You do not want your outfit to look too busy. Picking a color for the tights is important as well-- choose neutral or darker colors, appropriate for the fall and winter seasons.

Beware!

Taylor Swift and Paris Hilton at the MTV VMAs

Note to Taylor Swift:
I am warning you, hanging out with Paris Hilton will not get you very far in fashion, or in life for that matter. I think you are darling, talented, and have so much potential. Your songs are some of my favorite to car sing to these days. You also have a keen eye for wearing clothes that are perfect for your age. You rarely look like you are trying to dress older than your teenage years, and that is a trap many in your Hollywood peer group fall into. You were one of the guests on Ellen when I went to her show, and I was very impressed by your charming nature and maturity. Again, you are a bright star right now, and there isn't much you can learn from Paris Hilton.

Note to Paris:
There is so much I could say to you. You were also a guest on Ellen when I was there and I was amazed at how plastic and manufactured you look in real life. I was also not entirely surprised, but definitely observant of your plastic and manufactured personality. From a style standpoint, you are a prime example that you can't buy taste. This might be my most harsh criticism on this blog to date, but I like to see people getting publicity for the contributions they make and their body of work. I can't really think of any contributions you have made and you are most known for your sex tape, so lets just say you are not my favorite. Also, your bra is showing.